in the path of danger

What do you consider dangerous?

Forget life and limb or loss of security and safety in its most obvious aspects; what do you consider dangerous? Where do you "circle your wagons" to prevent yourself from being harmed and more importantly, do you do a variety of dances to prevent yourself from recognizing the reality of your choosing to be walled in?

One of the main problems people have in relationships is that they seek to try and protect themselves too much. One learns communication skills in a safe environment and forgets that in real life, another person - an unpredictable person is involved. When they react to what we have learned to say with perfectly executed compassion and awareness it can make us feel like we have placed ourselves in the path of danger.

Part of learning to communicate is learning to accept that there is risk. Risk of reaction. But that risk, that danger, is only as harmful as you let yourself react to it. If you choose to respond - to balance out your emotional reaction with a dose of rational guidance, you will be surprised not only at how less dangerous the situation feels; but how the other person will temper their own emotional response to you.

We need our emotions. They guide and protect us. But, they also function without knowledge of time and place. Listen, then back up and check yourself, is what you are feeling appropriate to the reality of the situation? Or has an emotional memory been triggered? Breathe and calm yourself, then choose the best response to continue the conversation.

Most things that appear dangerous only look that way because they represent a feared loss of control. Most things that appear that way really aren't. You always know what needs to be done in a situation. Trust yourself more and the world becomes less frightening.