the forgotten forgiveness

You can purchase or find any number of programs, books, systems, etc and so forth on forgiveness that promise to alleviate anger, resentfment and suffering in general. Usually in 7 days or less and often for an amount ending in 99.

While all of these contain elements that are a part of the process of forgiveness...they often leave out the first step, because it is the hardest to do and can take longer then 7 days.

You will not be able to free yourself of anger, resentment or suffering through forgiving someone what they have done to you, nor feel the freedom of forgiveness given to you until you first forgive yourself.

Even if someone has done a heinous thing to you, part of that emotional response is a sense of guilt that you were "taken in" or "unable to see" and often this will trigger old guilts. The path to forgiving oneself is one that is walked over and over. As we grow we become more aware of the depths of our histories and in some aspects, re-experience them as if they were present again. What was resolved and forgiven, re-offends.

The path to forgiveness must always begin with the reconciliation to ourselves first before we may forgive anyone else or be forgiven by them.