perverse

I get this strange...joy....when out walking early on Monday morning in watching the automatic arm on the garbage trucks swing out and grab the garbage cans. I don't know why...maybe it is a leftover from all the years in construction and watching really good operators use an excavator. We had one guy that gave us all a lecture on "becoming one with the machine" and the absolute zen of getting to the point where the excavator arm becomes an extension of your own.


I should have called this post "umbrella" because that is more of the visual image that I have in mind as my day clicks along. I had this strange night...very, very bad dreams....almost...but you know how I have been doing that hypnotism thing? Well a large part of it is using binural recordings to trigger lucid dream states. So right before my terribly bad dream got really bad I stood up in the dream and yelled "No, No, No I am not going to do this" and I kept having these flashes of myself in bed with the MK curled up under my arm and then I would be back in the dream and things would try to happen again and I would yell again - the third time I woke up and there was MK, curled under my arm. It was interesting to me because although I did not have the nightmare, I could look at the building imagery and understand where it was coming from. A lot has to do with that post I did yesterday, the symbolic interpretation of being lost and ineffectual in a maze when everything around you is saying that is the status quo and no one is willing to join you in doing something different - making the nightmare unavoidable. The form of the nightmare, of course, had nothing to do with the outside world and everything to do with little pieces of garbage floating around in my head which might go miles towards explaining why I was so overjoyed to stand in the cold and rain and watch that garbage truck grab those cans and dump the shit to be hauled away.


:)


Connections.


So I sat down at my desk and just immediately picked up a pile of stuff for a variety of projects and looked it over and then wrote six sentences that tied them all together. Like the covering to an umbrella that is now stretched on the frame and spokes.


And I realized I have a lot of work a head of me but for the first time, instead of automatically and intuitively knowing a deadline I am paused in consideration.


I think I am going to go a bit further with developing the whole thing as one umbrella and then see which parts need be done first or if the whole thing just needs the freedom to develop.


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