this is not

exactly how I imagined the day going or the blog post I was thinking I was going to write.


So, I am pausing and reflecting on the strangeness of the day. And it can be best summed up in this quote by Augustine of Hippo:


"Since you cannot do good to all, you are to pay special attention to those who, by the accidents of time, or place, or circumstances, are brought into closer connection with you."


and a few others that I will have to paraphrase about at the moment you come to the point where you can do anything, handle anything because you know there are other options available (but maybe not seen) is the moment that the universe decides you need to stop thinking about yourself and be with another.


I was going to go off on a track about a 10 year old boy in a t-shirt and shorts who was denied access to the white house or being dressed inappropriately (a. he is 10, b. it was hot, c. the t-shirt he was wearing bore the image of his grandfather who recently died - who was the reason for the invitation to the WH, was the last surviving black Medal of Honor winner from WWII who was buried Friday in Arlington and the family invited on the tour on Saturday). The aide claimed to be confused.


I was going to go on about the new semi-legalization of pot in California and the absolutely inappropriate reason given for its passage.


I was going to go on about a lot of things.


And then....the day changed. What was expected did not happen. But that is alright. I have gotten quite good with surprises. And then I was given an unexpected opportunity to go be a turtle again. And I leapt at the chance because I knew it would be a good thing...a deepening of my understanding....a part of my learning....only to discover...in the 5th hour, that...life belongs to each of us, while at the same time it is shared, and there are moments when you are not the one who defines or can even understand what is happening for another person -- but you can be there.


And being there does not mean knowing what to do. If you have been following me on the radio at all you know I have been kind of subtly hammering how platitudes are not comforting but close doors. Telling someone "you will get through this" or "it will be alright" shuts them down from sharing the depth of their emotional experience and often, people need to just speak and be heard. They need a safe place in which to speak of their pain and they need no resolution from you.


Oh...immediate caveat to that....


do you know why friends and strangers are so important to use in maintaining our sense of connectedness to everything? Because they are not our intimates. Sometimes, what we need to be heard, will damage an intimate relationship if spoken...there are other waves to weave it in....


tonight is....beautiful in its storminess...

the earth

the life

smell like spices (<---and that is a direct reference to something I have no idea how to talk about yet...as I said, I am learning)

of a meal close by, but not quite ready to be shared


I am learning

I am doing

I am


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